By Rina Abul-Haj
Albawaba.com – Amman
She found herself near tears, she wanted to release these sheer crystal drops to relieve her soothingly…But how?
She can’t suppress her twinge anymore…
She needs someone to talk to… someone to share her her problems…
Inside that dim room, she started her computer and suddenly found her fingers
typing, typing and typing.
Her tears were finally released, somebody is listening to her, easing her pain
and warming her chill…
The golden light sneaked through the soft curtains… Her eyes were aching from
staring into the screen for hours, but she is satisfied…
She welcomed the new day with fatigue, but also with a wide smile and a
cheerful heart, because she knew there would always be good people in this
universe…
Internet virtual realms have become part of the third millennium life, even in countries with ailing economies like Jordan, where you can find dozens of Internet cafes in one part of the city.
Controversy has already emerged in the traditional conservative kingdom, where the phenomenon is looked at with the eye of suspicion by some educators and parents. Meanwhile, experts see resorting to talking with people from different parts of the world a means of escape from harsh realities and unfulfilled ambitions.
“Chatting is a waste of time,” says Omar Tayeh, an educational and psychological consultant at the Jubilee school in Amman, where the best achievers in primary schools are receiving high school education under one roof.
However, the expert continues, if someone uses chatting on the World Wide Web to exchange information on more useful things, that’s ok. But relations on the net are flimsy.
A 20-year-old student of English at Jordan University of Science and Technology (JUST) agrees with Tayeh that relations built up in chatting rooms and icqs are only a joke.
“I love to chat, I may be attracted to someone but it’s stupid to love him,” says Sana Abdullah.
“You don’t trust the other person. Especially those who are psychos for changing their characters million times,” adds Sana’s classmate, Abeer Dababna.
LONELY IN THE CHAT ROOM
According to some, they chat just because they are lonely and frustrated.
“Actually, chatting is a good way to relieve psychological problems, this is because you don’t know the other person so you feel relaxed and open to talk about what ever you want,” says Amal Al Nasser, a professor at (JUST).
“I know someone who experienced this situation; he got divorced and had two children so he felt so lonely and sad that he even wanted to commit suicide but fortunately he got along with a Dutch girl in a chat room who helped him get over his problems. He is happy now living with his two kids.”
According to Tayeh, talking to strangers whom you do not know makes one feel free to say whatever you want in a relaxed atmosphere.
In a country like Jordan, there is another reason, according to Talal Ziad, a 23-year-old mechanical engineer.
“To be honest, I hate to chat with guys; it’s because our society doesn’t give us a chance to communicate with girls, so we take a refuge in exploring the mystery of their world through chatting.”
As for an architecture student who identified himself as Raed, he used to be addicted to chatting when he was a freshman.
“But not any more,” he says. “I’ve fallen in love and I’m not lonely anymore. When I have extra time, I prefer to spend it talking on the phone with my girlfriend or going out with her.”
But a dire need for company in lonely nights is not all. Cybersex is a newly blended term widely used in one-to-one chatting. More, chatters might discuss more sensitive matters in the Middle Eastern society such as homosexuality and lesbianism.
An English teacher, who asked not to be named, says, “for me as a divorced man, sometimes I enter the chat rooms for a certain reason, which is cybersex. I need it and it really satisfies me.
“Other times I chat just to talk about my problems and to build social relations,” he adds, even if this means he talks to gays and lesbians.
“I was shocked to find such a large number of gays in our part of the world, I can’t justify others’ behaviors, but I think that social constraints are behind such a deviation from the conservative norms. The Internet is a perfect way to spit it out,” the 37-year-old teacher added.
LIAR LIAR
Please, no blame
I know it’s a shame
Do I have to change my name?
Or is it better to remain the same?
Life is only a game
Tears it doesn’t claim
All of those interviewed by Albawaba.com have agreed on one thing: Lying floods the chat rooms, and everyone is guilty until proven innocent.
According to Tayeh, chatters tend to create other persons of themselves, or
simply seek some fun.
Mohannad Al Abbadi, 22, a dentistry student gives an example.
“I remember I chatted once with a girl whom I could convince to meet me in person. She had been repeating the same words: “I don’t care about the person’s exterior look. After I saw her I knew why she was saying that. It’s because she was ugly although she always described herself as a Miss Universe.”
Teenagers have their reasons to lie.
“I usually lie about my age because I’m a young boy and no one will accept me as a chat friend so when I say I’m 20 I’ll be entitled to chat with whoever I want,” says Ahmad, 13.
“People lie about their realities in order to have fun, or to remove the social differences between them and the people they are chatting with,” according to Dr. Al Nasser.
However, lying underlies a psychological problem whatever the context is, according to a psychiatrist.
“People who lie whether in chatting rooms or elsewhere have psychological
problems, this applies to many cases when the person does not himself trust the
others,” explains Dr. Radwan Radwan, who attributes the major part of the
problem to social maladjustment.
“A lying chatter may be trying to create a new person of himself, which is hard
for him/her to be in the real world.”
According to the expert, this can be diagnosed as a mild form of schizophrenia.
AFTER ALL, IT’S A MATTER OF PRESENCE, EXPERTS
According to a research paper by Matthew Lombard and Theresa Ditton from the Department of Broadcasting, Telecommunications, & Mass Media at Temple University, Virtual reality and other emerging technologies are designed to give the user a type of mediated experience that has never been possible before: one that seems truly "natural," "immediate," "direct," and "real": a mediated experience that creates for the user a strong sense of presence.
Meanwhile, traditional media including the telephone, radio, film, and television continue to offer us a lesser sense of presence –Albawaba.com
