A couple who were raised Mormon have lifted the lid on their 'monogamish' relationship - after turning to sex parties and naturism when they grew tired of the traditional approach to marriage.
Clayton, 38, and Danielle Watson, 34, from Salt Lake City in Utah, married after a year of dating after meeting at university 16 years ago, but quickly realized that the 'rigid' rules it came with were not for them.
After experimenting with stripping off in public, sex clubs, and flirting with other couples, the Watsons launched a blog - Fight Boring Marriages - where they share saucy pictures of themselves and offer a glimpse into their unconventional union.
Clayton and Danielle, who unusually for Mormons were not virgins when they wed, they say their relationship is 'mostly monogamous,' but insist they are not swingers nor are they polyamorous.
People who identify as monogamish are committed to one person, but also open to exploring other experiences outside of the framework of a traditional relationship.
The Watsons say they started their blog to 'inspire and educate' others about their lifestyle - and to encourage other couples to nurture the spark in their relationships, and the nature lovers also share their outdoor escapades, and frequent stints of nudity, on Instagram.
'We met at Utah Valley University. I was 22 and Danielle was 18 when we met. We dated for exactly one year before getting married,' said Clayton.
'In Mormonism, marrying as virgins is a very big deal... we were not virgins when we got married which was a major disappointment for our families,' he said.
'A monogamous relationship comes with a set of standards and rules that you are expected to follow. These standards have been set by society and religion and not the actual couple in the relationship.
'When we got married, we were assigned the type of relationship we were expected to live. Anything outside of that was to be considered shameful, embarrassing, or failure.'
In contrast, says Clayton, being monogamish 'allows you to set every rule for your marriage'.
'For us, it is not polyamory or swinging, although it might be that for other people.
'Most of the time our relationship is totally monogamous but we have also created a space that allows us to step out of the norm to further explore anything we want.
'The boundaries are yours.'
The couple insist that monogamous relationships are actually counter-productive in terms of communication - especially when it comes to the 'shadows of our sexuality'.
'Too many of us believe that anything outside of what society deems is acceptable should not even be talked about even with your partner,' said Clayton.
'Being monogamish requires that you are open with your partner about every fear and fantasy that you have ever had. It gives you a place that both partners can be open.
'In fact, it forces you to have good communication. If you feel something will be positive for your relationship, you get to do it without carrying any shame, fears, or worry you are doing something that will hurt your partner.'
Clayton and Danielle plan to carry on with their website for another couple of years after being surprised by the positive reactions they received.
'We know a lot of people that are in what we call roommate relationships. The relationship is held together by work commitments, job commitments, family commitments, and a fear of leaving.
'Just like a roommate, you put up with them so you can split some of your responsibilities,' he said.
'The marriage itself is extremely mundane and boring. It has lost all of its passion and excitement. Sex is normally non-existent. We all know these people. They surround us in every neighbourhood. This is what life does to a relationship unless you fight back.
'You don't luck into a great relationship. You create it. The site is about our past and current fights in keeping our marriage exciting and fun. We also wanted to give others a space that they can write about what they are doing.'
Given their conservative upbringing, jealousy can be an issue, they say.
'We have had many experiences that brought up those feelings,' said Clayton.
'Honestly, we expect there will always be jealousy, fear, and anxious feelings that will arise. Instead of focusing on the negative feelings themselves, we now focus on why we had that feeling. Many times it is for something outside of what you expect.
'If we feel repeating that same experience might cause more jealousy, we simply stop doing it for the time being. We can always try again sometime in the future when we have worked out all of the jealousy feelings.
'Some things that are wrong for your marriage right now might be right for it in ten years.'
Clayton and Danielle receive positive reactions from others about their relationship, with many people curious about how it works.
'Normally, there are positive reactions, but we do not fly a flag outside of our door proclaiming we are monogamish. Nor does it come up during Thanksgiving dinner with the family,' added Danielle.
'Most people are curious about it because so many of us do not fit the monogamy mould perfectly nor do we fit a lifestyle mould. It is definitely a normal thing for people to have thought about.
'Human sexuality is a complex thing and when people see you open up about your relationship, they almost always feel like they can share theirs with you.
'Our friends range from polyamorous to monogamous and we all get together perfectly. If you give respect, you normally get respect. We do not have time for friends or family that are unwilling to love us for who we are.'
Clayton said his advice to anyone contemplating a monogamish lifestyle would be to 'take control of your relationship and stop allowing outside influences to tell you what is right for you and your partner'.
'We are not all the same so how can we expect that everyone's relationships should be the same? Do not be afraid to be yourself especially with the person you love the most.
'If someone was interested in becoming monogamish, we would advise them to start with communication. You must become extremely vulnerable with each other and express not only your fantasies but also all of your fears and insecurities are worth worrying about.
'Each person then needs to set their own boundaries. If one person's boundaries are set much higher than their partner is willing to go, the more timid partner always wins. Look at your partner's boundaries as a new trust pact you are making with them.
'You never surpass the boundary in the moment even if you are both having fun.
'Keeping boundaries will show your partner that no matter what happens, you will respect them by keeping your commitment - do not break your partners trust.
'After you have a positive or negative experience, revaluate your boundaries in a safe place - boundaries in a monogamish relationship are always evolving and changing.
'You have your whole lives together, so there is no need to rush past a boundary for five minutes of pleasure,' he said.
'Finally, have fun. If it is not enhancing the relationship, don't do it. The goal should just be to have a positive experience for both people - or why do it?'
This article has been adapted from its original source.
